i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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