found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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