i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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