I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
