did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
