i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think people are normalizing furries
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