Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
