I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
