Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
