It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
