I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
