im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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