First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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