no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
