I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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