I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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