I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
