Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
