I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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