batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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