In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
