Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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