just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
