She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
