I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
