I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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