Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
