Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
