My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize