I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
