he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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