you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
