I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
