just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
