i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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