He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
