What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
