i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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