Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
