Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
