well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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