I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize