I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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