Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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