i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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