Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
