Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
