you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
