hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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