i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
