a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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