The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
