I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
