It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
