We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so that wasnt chicken after all
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
