You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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