Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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