Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
