Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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