Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
