I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize