Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
